The stuff of legend:

Pizza Beans and dinner party dinners and Lambrusco by the gallon

This past weekend we had a small gathering and I attempted something logic-defying, something mythical, legendary even…I attempted to be a host that spends time with her guests, actually in the dining room…not in the kitchen, not over the stove, not putting guests to work, not in the peripheral of the dinner party— actually in the dinner party! Once considered fantasy, now, lived reality, I’m here to say it is possible to experience both dinner and party portions of a dinner party(!!!) and that was due, in large part, to PIZZA BEANS. These beans had their moment in the spotlight a while back. But they are truly something to behold. Mostly because they are shockingly satisfying, fairly low maintenance, and can be made in advance. They are a centerpiece dish, a show stopper, if you will. Serve with a salad — shaved fennel, red leaf lettuces, and our (vegetable) lord and savior’s vinaigrette — or don’t because sometimes salad feels like the most impossible thing. Also, we drank our weight in Lambrusco because that also felt fancy yet uncomplicated and, in case you forgot, I was cosplaying as a fancy yet uncomplicated person for the night. No cocktails to futz with just a few glasses and a neverbefore-seen-cool-laid-back host drinking and pouring fizzy red wine aplenty. 

I’ll include the recipe for pizza beans below, I do think they are a perfect dinner party dinner for entertaining season. But I also want to speak frankly to our beloved FRANK readers for a moment. At least 5 of you are reading this right now with the best intentions to make beans, maybe even this week. You went out and bought your Rancho Gordo’s and by all accounts, you’re ready. But your sad little bean bag(s) are just sitting in your pantry collecting dust and getting sadder. So, please, take this as your not so subtle sign, and MAKE THE DAMN BEANS. You’ll be that much closer to being the “maybe this year” version of yourself - the one that wants to take up pottery, or sew felt birthday crowns for your kids, or learn to bake your own breads or whatever other tiktok hobbies have seduced you - you’ll be the beans from scratch version of you and everyone’s going to be wildly impressed. 

Anyway, If you need more convincing that it’s time to make that bag of beans— last week I made a big pot of big lima beans (also known, more fashionably, as, butter beans) for beans on toast. I had plans to document all the ways we ate the leftover beans throughout the week — but in truth, they were so good, beans on toast was our lunchtime companion for 5 days straight. With the pizza beans, which fed multiple generous servings to our group of 4.5 (four adults and one 7 month-old), we have beans leftover for lunch today and the saved liquid gold (aka bean broth) was used last night to make a plant based version of this pasta…What I’m saying is beans are the sleeper hit solution to meal planning or feeding yourself multiple different meals that require very little effort. And we need ease wherever we can get it, especially around the holidays, where we’re lucky if we “get time to sneeze in this goddamn phenomenal world” (J.D. Salinger).

So yeah, make the beans and take the time to enjoy the party or let yourself have a good far-off stare with a glass of Lambrusco in hand.    

dinner party pizza beans (left), lunchtime pizza beans -sans bread (right)

PIZZA BEANS

Ingredients:

Bag of Large White Lima Beans, Royal Corona are nice for this too, just make sure you fat cap…

12 cloves garlic

2 shallots

1 sprig rosemary

Fresh basil (4-5 leaves)

1/2 cup olive oil

I 28 oz can DOP San Marzano Tomatoes

1 fennel bulb

1/2 white onion

Tablespoon of tomato paste

Teaspoon fennel seeds

Teaspoon Italian seasoning

Salt & Pepper to taste

Mozzarella

Loaf of good bread (sourdough batard, Pain au Levain, etc.) + butter

Tomato Sauce - or use your favorite marinara

1. In a saucepan add a good glug or two of olive oil, enough to cover bottom, warm on medium heat for a minute

2. Thinly slice fennel bulb, removing the core, and add to oil, sauté until soft and beginning to caramelize a bit

3. Add teaspoon of fennel seeds

4. Add thinly sliced onion, cook until translucent, don’t let them get jammy

5. Add 4 cloves of finely chopped garlic

6. Add tablespoon of tomato paste, stir and let cook for 2-3 minutes

7. Lower heat and add can of DOP whole peeled tomatoes - crushing tomatoes with your hand

8. Add a little more olive oil, Italian seasoning salt and pepper to taste and let cook on low for no more than 10 minutes

Beans - or use canned, we won’t tell

1. Get a big, heavy, preferably cast iron enamel pot and put a glug or two of olive oil in the bottom (enough to cover).Heat should be on medium, or whatever your stove needs to heat without getting high enough to burn the oil

2. Wait for the oil to get hot and crack some black pepper and a (big) pinch of red pepper flakes into the oil, they should sizzle a bit and that’s how you know it’s hot enough to move on

3. Add your 8 smashed garlic cloves, shallots cut in half - flat-side down, Rosemary

4. Let simmer in oil for about 1 minute or until things start to brown a little

5. Add your rinsed NOT PRE-SOAKED Lima beans beans to the pot

6. Quickly add water to pot, enough to cover about 3 inches over the beans

7. Salt the water here, taste to make sure it’s salty

8. Bring to a hard boil for about 15 minutes

9. Drop down to a low simmer, with the lid askew, but on

10. Check beans and water level every 20 minutes, I always have to add more water, make sure you’re adding boiling water to the pot if you have to top it off 

11. If you add more water, add more oil, because that’s what all the fat-cappers are doing

12. When the beans are perfectly magically soft and creamy and super delicious (probably 2 hours later), remove rosemarry sprig, strain off broth

Pizza Beans

1. Preheat oven to 425

2. Lightly coat your (~9x13) baking dish with olive oil

3. Add your strained beans to your baking dish, taste them and season with salt and pepper if needed, each bean should be well salted and tasty on it’s own

4. Cover beans in sauce, using all of your sauce

5. Top with Mozzarella, I use this plant based option because it browns beutifully

6. Pop it in the oven until everything is heated thoroughly and cheese is bubbling

7. Slice and toast your bread

8. Butter bread and top with pizza beans

9. Finish with torn basil leaves